Being Bipolar: Depression and Procrastination

Hiya.. I have Bipolar-1, and to be honest, it’s hard for me to work.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I’m a writer who gets to submit whenever as long as it’s within the day. In my blogs, I get to write whatever I want. But when I’m in that phase where.. doing anything is a painful chore, I have to really  push myself to do it.

Procrastination.

I have a lot of time, but I can’t seem to function. 

I’ve been neglecting my blogs.

My socials all empty.

I’m overwhelmed with the updates on reels, tiktoks and whatnots.

It’s exhausting.

But what makes people with bipolar disorder “unable to work?” well two things.

When we’re depressed, we just feel so terrible we don’t want to do anything. We just want to either scroll mindlessly on social media, sleep, binge watch on netflix (without any focus) or basically do nothing. But because we need to survive, I, need to work to keep food on the table, I force myself too. 

Depression is not just “crying all the time”. Sometimes, you just feel like, nothing. An empty shell. A robot on autopilot.

I’m in a depressive cycle and even writing this feels like a chore. I’ve been angrier than usual too. Even with medication *sigh*

When we’re manic.. when I’m manic.. while we have all the energy in the world to do things. We can’t keep our mind in place. It’s hard to focus. This is also the reason why despite having plenty of good opportunities at work before, I wasn’t able to stay in a job long enough. 

I’m not the worst case or the worst example. I’m sure there are others who have bipolar, or have depression who can’t even force themselves to take a shower or grab a meal. 

Call it cliche but the struggle is real, but if anyone who’s experiencing the same is reading this. Don’t give up. 

Baby steps. 

When I want to exercise, I do it one step at a time:

1. Dress up
2. Wear earphones
3. Listen to workout music
4. Warm Up
5. and it begins…

When I need to write something for work:

1. Research
2. Create a skeleton 
3. Fill in each segment of skeleton at a time
4. Check for grammar corrections
5. Read and review

These are just my examples, you can try making yours too. Another thing that helps is writing things down. Whatever I need to do for the day. Not the week or the month. Just the following day. It helps give my brain direction and order.

Anyway.. if you’ve reached the end of this post.. thanks for reading 🙂 Till next time

PS:

I’ll write my review for Promatrix7 Whey Protein tonight! It’s a must!