For Geof, I wish I took more photographs

Dear Geof,

I wish I took more photos.

I wish I was able to capture moments when you were so deeply loved by lolo pido and lola olive. You are blessed to have experience the warmth and love of having a great-grandpa and great grandpa.

Lolo Pido always cradled you to sleep, while singing his favorite songs from Pat Boone and Frank Sinatra. Your favorites were: How much is that doggy in the window, and Bye bye bird (not the exact title).

Lolo Pido loves to sing. He even taught me how. He taught me all the breathing techniques and styles!

I used to get mad at lolo, for carrying you; because I thought he was spoiling you. Looking back now, it was me who was wrong. There’s nothing wrong with letting you feel loved, hugged, carried.

He carried you in his arms, at the ripe old age of 77, inspite of his cramps and aches. He would carry you for hours, just to make sure you were comfortable.

I told him, “Lolo, you dont need to do this. You dont have to carry him”

He would answer, “Let me do this while I still can”

Lola Olive always made you milk; especially when I was away for work. During break times, I would pump milk in the CR, and then fill the office freezer with bottles and bottles of breast milk. These were the bottles that lola would prepare, thaw and warm them up for you to drink.

Even if there were powdered milks available, Lola respects my decision to continue giving you breast milk, even if it took more effort thawing them ready. Lola Olive loves you very much.

When I was in Singapore, it was lola who brought and fetch you to school. Star Kids. She would tell me stories and updates on how you were that day, even if through Skype.

I wish I took more photos. I wish I took more videos; but I wasnt there.

I wasnt there because I had to work.

I wasnt there because I had to survive. We had to survive.

It was one of the worst moments in my life, your dad just abandoned me and I needed to find work to support us and to make sure you have the best in life.

Im sorry I was away.

Lolo, lola, mama2, mama. They gave you all the love in the world you needed and so much more than I could give.

I’m sorry.

All I could give you now is this story, as I try my best to dig into my memories and recall – while they’re still there. Even if it was more than 10 years ago.

Now that they’re old, at a riper age of 92, while they’re not as strong, or not as sharp, their love for you is just as much.

I’ll be forever grateful for the love they have given, and continue to give, and I hope you never forget. This story is my gift for you.

Love, your mama Kaycee.